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Episode 71, First Aired: January 27th, 2008 Guest StarringNeko Case as Chrysanthemum, Kelly Hogan as BJ Queen, John Kruk as Himself, Matt Maiellaro as MarkulaTranscript:Coming Soon!Synopsis:Still no Aqua Teens. Markula rents the house to 3 Sirens (which include baseball's John Kruk.) Carl is impressed... and horny. |
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Soundsanguish.mp3 File size: 260KB Carl: Kruk!? From the Phillies? John Kruk: Uh... yeah man, that's me. Carl: Dude! I hit you with a battery in '89, you remember? D Cell? John Kruk: Yeah, I remember you. Yeah, I still got the scar... and I still use that battery. Thanks man. Carl: I gotta tell you, I spent about three nights in the clink 'cause of that, but it was so worth it to see you just drop to your knees in anguish. asshole.mp3 File size: 124KB John Kruk: Alright, now take 'em and throw 'em in the sewer. Carl: I thought that you said... John Kruk: You thought what? That you're stupid? You're so stupid. That's for hitting me with a battery at Shea you asshole! beautifulnipples.mp3 File size: 118KB Markula: Finally! Nipples of my own! Sirens: They're so beautiful! Markula: Don't you think I know that? bloodcost.mp3 File size: 42.1KB Markula: I need that money! Cost of blood is going up. buddy.mp3 File size: 95.0KB John Kruk: C'mon buddy, you know you're drunk. Carl: Yeah, I know. It's a good thing too. Otherwise I would totally feel this. cheerleader.mp3 File size: 135KB Carl: Yes, you are a cheerleader aren't you? An enormous 300 pound cheerleader. Not too many cheerleaders missing teeth but... sure, I'll go with the fantasy. clamp.mp3 File size: 69.3KB John Kruk: You kidnapped me, you torture me with your sick games and I gotta sit around here with a clamp on my... thing! corpses.mp3 File size: 276KB Carl: So... very roomy. Put your flatscreen TV over there. You got... step over the corpses there. You know, the city's been notified about that. You know... but the flies have carted off most of the meat anyways. You drop a throwrug on it, you're good to go... man, I am really focusing a lot on them corpses. danceforthem.mp3 File size: 77.2KB John Kruk: You can go dance for 'em. See what they say. I mean, what the hell? Give it a shot. Carl: Well, I don't dance... unless I'm totally wasted. erotic.mp3 File size: 66.8KB Carl: Hey! I'm tryin' to get erotic here! Keep it down! gasleak.mp3 File size: 150KB Carl: That gas leak is gonna kill anybody that tries to move in here. Markula: I'm not fixing that gas leak for you or anyone. Carl: Alright. Fine, fine. I understand. But... are you totally set on that price? highbeams.mp3 File size: 112KB Carl: I just came by to say welcome to your high beams... uh, that came out wrong. I meant to say boobs. inthegame.mp3 File size: 81.0KB Carl: Yeah, football fan! You're at the fifty yard line. 'Cause you ain't just watchin' the game, you're in the game! kruksings.mp3 File size: 418KB Chrysanthemum: Sing for him John Kruk. John Kruk: Not right now. It's not a good time for me to sing. BJ Queen: Yes! You must. John Kruk: Do I really have to sing? Carl: Go on man, sing! She said you sing. Go... do it. John Kruk: Sing, sing, sing. That's all these girls do. They're freakin' crazy. Carl: Do, uh, "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap". BJ Queen: Sing for him John Kruk! John Kruk: La la la... Carl: Aww, you suck. Chrysanthemum: John Kruk is not a good singer. BJ Queen: We mask his hideous voice with more volume. lostlegend.mp3 File size: 71.9KB Carl: No... John Kruk. Baseball has lost a legend. money.mp3 File size: 201KB John Kruk: I have an idea. How about I go see my wife and kids? Markula: I have a better idea. It's called "pizza for everyone". Pizza party! Who has money? nipplead.mp3 File size: 94.9KB Markula: Maybe place an ad in the paper. It would be a big color ad. It would say "nipples found". nippleslice.mp3 File size: 61.0KB John Kruk: Take this knife, slice off your nipples and feed them to the sisters. Like grapes! nude.mp3 File size: 171KB Markula: I'm starting to think you aren't right for this job. This is not a... fit. Carl: Really? Well then, fit this! You need me, I'm next door gettin' comfortable with myself... in the nude! painful.mp3 File size: 229KB John Kruk: Hey! What do you guys think if this guy could take my place for a bit? I'd love to go see my kids. Carl: Yeah, I could totally take his place here. Chrysanthemum: No no, John Kruk! Carl: No man, go see your family. BJ Queen: Down boy, down! John Kruk: You know, maybe you should just go on home. Don't worry about what we do over here. It's not even painful anymore. powertool.mp3 File size: 85.8KB Chrysanthemum: Did someone just hear? It sounded like a power tool. BJ Queen: Yeah, it was like a drill or something. rejectednipples.mp3 File size: 34.1KB Carl: So... they don't want the nipples? sewernipples.mp3 File size: 71.3KB Markula: I found these nipples in the sewers. Is anyone you know missing any nipples? sexgames.mp3 File size: 53.6KB Carl: Whoa whoa whoa, go back. You guys do... sex games here? sexsandwich.mp3 File size: 204KB Carl: I'm next door if you need anything. Certainly if you need another piece of meat to fit inside your sex sandwich. John Kruk: Carl, please. Carl: ... and I don't even mind that you're a dude. John Kruk: Just go. Carl: You are a potential hall of famer. John Kruk: Dude, just go. Sirens: He said go! Carl: I could totally have sex next to you. John Kruk: Dude, GO! sexualorgan.mp3 File size: 422KB John Kruk: Hey, what's up man? Did you see my paper? Carl: I saw you last night. John Kruk: Oh yeah, with the girls! Carl: Yeah, with the girls. John Kruk: In the living room. Carl: In the living room, yeah. John Kruk: Yeah, they're pretty hot, huh? Hey, check this out man. All this skin comes off with a zipper. You see? Carl: ... and the harpoons? John Kruk: Oh, this harpoon hole? Surgically made for the illusion. Dude, it's so hot. The biggest sexual organ is your brain, you know what I mean? sirensintro.mp3 File size: 114KB Chrystanthemum: I am Chrysanthemum. This is the BJ Queen. This is John Kruk. John Kruk: What's up, man? sostupid.mp3 File size: 109KB Carl: You keep throwin' around words like "blood" and "feed". I mean, feed what? Markula: Never you mind. I've said too much already. I'm so stupid. speakerbushes.mp3 File size: 216KB Carl: I'm drillin' a hole. Runnin' some wires through here. For some... speakers! That's right. Puttin' 'em right here in the bushes. Markula: Good call. I want this side yard to reek of sound! sports.mp3 File size: 60.0KB Carl: This is a sport lover's fantasy! Markula: I don't like sports... no one does. wastedsolo.mp3 File size: 256KB Carl: *strumming air guitar and beating air drums* ALIVE! That's from the live album. woodenpaneling.mp3 File size: 130KB Markula: You skipped over the wooden paneling. Talk more about the wooden paneling. Carl: Uh... is that a feature? Markula: It is the best feature! Aqua FaktsComing Soon |