Aqua Teen Hunger Force Fan-Fiction By Drake Episode Title: "The 3rd Eye" - Scene 1 The show starts the traditional way, with Dr. Weird's lab. Dr. Weird: Gentleman! Behold, I did it. Yes, it took years, and cost my life savings, but now it is complete! The door opens and reveals a collection of Pocket-Monster Gaming cards. Dr. Weird: I have traveled the globe, and battled many masters, but I have collected them all! Steve just shakes his head. Dr. Weird laughs his evil laugh and the opening theme song starts. - Scene 2 The scene opens with Carl talking on his phone in his room. Carl: You don't understand, I'm not going to pay for this, because I didn't make these calls. A voice speaks from the phone but you can't hear what it says. Carl: I don't care, I told you, either you put me on the phone with your supervisor, or I'm going to have to come down their, and get personal with you. The voice speaks again. Carl: Ok, That's it, I'm going to get in my car and go there, and mop the floor with you, so you had better practice falling down, because I'm on my way. The scene the jumps to an outside view of Carl getting in his car with a golf club, and pealing out in the street, before drving off. Back in Carl's house shake sneaks into Carl's room. He has a black bandana over part of his face, like that's going to hide his identify. He picks up Carl's phone and starts dialing. Shake: Hey, It's me again. The voice on the phone speaks with a faux-Jamaican accent. Phone: Me who? Shake: Me, Master Shake, I call you everyday, and we talk for like 4 hours. Phone: Oh yes, Mr. Shake. I had a dream about you last night, don't cha know?. Shake: Oh great, what was it this time? Phone: I dreamt that you were about to come into a load of money, don't cha know? Shake: Really, cause that's the same dream you said you've been having for like 2 weeks now. Phone: Yes, it is a reoccurring dream, that means it will come true, don't cha know? Shake: Well, I really just wanted you to tell me, what the winning lottery numbers are for tomorrow. Phone: I am getting a vision... (pause) I see... no... no. it can't be... The baby isn't yours. Shake: Oh my god, it's not? I mean, wait a second, hey are you going to tell me the winning lottery numbers or not. Phone: It is forbidden to use my gifts in sucha way. Shake: And by that you mean you have no clue, right? Phone: Oh now, you have angered the JuJu gods, you must make pinnace. Pinnace checks can be mailed to... Shake interrupts the phone psychic. Shake: Look lady, we both know your not really a psychic, and your probably not Jamaican, so why don't you just read the winning lottery numbers for tomorrow to me, and we can be done, ok? Phone: Read them? Off what? Shake: The sheet, I know you have a sheet with that stuff on it. Phone: I have no sheet little man, I am a Haitian JuJu priestess, and I can see the future. Shake: Yea, look into the future what do you see? If you said you see me hanging up on you, then you saw correct. Phone: You have made Aunti Grits angry, I will come to your house, and curse you. Shake: I'm scared now. Phone: I will, now tell me your address, so I can come down there, and hurt cha bad, don't cha know? Shake: Why don't you figure it out, I mean you are psychic and all. Shake hangs up and leaves the house - Scene 3 Shake is in the kitchen and has Meatwad in a giant blinder, but it's not turned on. Meatwad: Are you sure this is how I become I real boy? Shake: It worked for Pinocchio didn't it? Meatwad: I think Pinocchio had a grasshopper. Shake: And a grasshopper is a drink, and you make drinks in a blender, Gess, do I have to explain everything to you ten times? Meatwad: Hey, let me outa here, this isn't gonna work. Shake: No, this is for your own good. Shake reaches for the blend button but stops when there is a knock at the door. Shake: I'm going to go see if that's Publishers Clearing House here to give me my 10 million dollars. You wait here, because you have a date with the chopping blades. Meatwad: Let me outa here, or I'm gonna... Meatwad's voice fades as shake goes to the door. Shake answers the door, and it is Aunti Grits, the telephone psychic. Grits: I'm looking for Mr. Shake, we have, unfinished business. Shake: Oh, you are? Grits: I am Aunti Grits, Don't cha know, and my psychic powers tell me that Mr. Shake is somewhere in this house. Shake: Oh, Well I... (he is interrupted by Aunti Grits) Grits: I am going to give him the curse of the 3rd eye, a fate worse then death, don't cha know? Shake: Oh, well, in that case he's right over here. Shake leads Aunti Grits to the blender, with Meatwad in it. Grits: Why is he in a blender? Shake: He likes that, that's why the call him, Mr. Shake. Grits: Man, he really is a sick, sick, man. Shake: Oh yea, lay it on him. Meatwad: I'm not mister shake, that's Master Shake right there, and he won't let me out of... Shake slaps the blender with a 2 by 4 and Meatwad shuts up. Grits: You wouldn't be trying to pull a fast one on your Aunti now would you? Shake: Oh no, not me, that's your shake right there in the blender, now lay that big fat curse on him, I wanta see it. Grits: You'd better not be lying to me, because you know I'm a psychic and, I can tell. Shake: Oh no, they call me Mr. Honest around here. Grits: Don't cha know, that I know that, Don't cha know! I am psychic after all. Smoke rises up around the blender Grits: You are going to be cursed now little man. From now, until the end of your days, you will have a 3rd eye and you will see the many horrors of shadow realm. You will not be able to sleep, because the 3rd eye is always open. And now, non-believer, you will understand what it is really like to be a psychic. The smoke clears, and Aunti Grits is gone. Meatwad is standing outside of the blender and has a yellow third eye on his forehead. Frylock comes out the lab coughing. Frylock: Shake, what was with all the smoke? Is something on fire? Frylock sees the large yellow third eye on Meatwad's head. Frylock: What the f... Frylock is interrupted by Meatwad. Meatwad: I see, I see dead people, and they ugly. Frylock: What? What happened? The camera now shows what Meatwad sees. A collection of dead people are playing poker in the living room. There is a man with an axe in the side of his head, a headless guy, and an old lady with an oxygen bottle smoking a cigarette. They are all nasty looking, kind of green, and look like they've been decaying for a while. Meatwad: Oh no, I think they see me. Deadguy with an axe: Hey you, hey meatfreak, you mean you can see and hear us now? Meatwad: Yea, I mean, I guess I can. Axe: Oh, well in that case tell that milkshake guy to shut-up, he drives us nuts, all day, and all night, talking and talking. Meatwad: Ok, I can do that. Headless guy: Yea, and can you tell that giant potato snack to get out of my room. Meatwad: I guess so. The really ugly old lady turns around. Lady: Yea, and your room is my room, but I don't mind, a girl needs a little company if you know what I mean. The old lady sticks her tongue out like in the movie Kingpin. Meatwad screams and runs screaming out of the house. Frylock and shake look at each other not knowing what just happened. Frylock: What happened to Meatwad? And don't act like you don't know, because you always do. Shake: I don't know, he grew some strange third eye thing, and there was smoke, and... Frylock: And what? I'm waiting... Shake: And I'm going to watch some TV. - Scene 4 Meatwad is rolling down the street very fast. He rolls by many dead people, including many famous dead people like Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, and George Washington. They are all doing things like drinking 40ozs, and hitting bongs, George Washington is break-dancing to a boom box held by Tom Jefferson. Jefferson: Break it down George. Meatwad runs past some car-crash victims playing chess with Albert Einstein, Einstein makes his move. Einstein: Checkmate, Pass the juice. Einstein takes a hit, using a mask, out of a bottle that says "Nitrous Oxide" on it. Meatwad continues to run past various dead people until he darts behind a wall and stops. He's breathing hard, but catching his breath. Meatwad: I think I lost em. The camera then pans out to show Meatwad at a graveyard, and dead people all over. He screams again and rolls all the way back to the house. - Scene 5 Meatwad runs inside the teen's house and slams the door. Frylock is waiting for him, and Shake is watching TV. Meatwad drags the TV in front of the door, but several dead people just walk through it. Meatwad: Frylock, help me, they be dead people everyplace. The dead people playing poker turn around and look at him Headless Guy: Hey, meatman, would you tell that cup jackass to turn the channel? I'm missing my soaps! Frylock: It's ok Meatwad, why don't you just try to get some sleep, and I'm going to go to the lab and start looking for a solution. - Scene 6 Meatwad is in his room trying to sleep, but many dead people are trying to talk to him. One is holding a tire iron, and looks like he might be related to Carl, he has tire tracks on his face. Tire Tracks Guy: Hey man, meatdude, wake up. Meatwad: Yea? Tire Tracks: Tell my buddy Carl when he gets to the afterlife, I got something for him. Tire Tracks guy then swings the tire iron. Tire Tracks: Na, second thought, don't tell him, I want it to be a freakin surprise. The old lady from before is wearing a nightgown and whistles to Meatwad. Old Lady: Why don't you come over here big boy? - Scene 7 Meatwad runs screaming into the lab where Frylock is on the computer. Meatwad: Frylock you gotta help me, the dead people are in my room, and one of them said I need to pet her kitten, but she didn't have no cat, and... Frylock, interrupts Meatwad. Frylock: I know Meatwad, I'm looking it up on the computer right now. Meatwad rolls over to the computer. Meatwad: Pot-at-o B-S-D-M Dot Com? Frylock: Oh, I'm sorry, that's something else. Frylock: Here we go. The computer shows pictures of people with third eyes, some are drawings, some are photos. Dead people are now all standing around the computer. Frylock: This says we have to go to Tibet, and that a Tibetan monk can cure your, problem. Frylock: This also says that dead people can see the future if you ask them. Shake comes into the room. Shake: We are not going to Tibet. Meatwad and I are going to start our own psychic line, aren't we Meatwad? Shake: Ask them what the winning lottery numbers are? Meatwad: What are the lottery numbers? A short pause Meatwad: They said the winning number is TK4-043. Shake: That's not a lottery number! Meatwad: No, they said that's the license plate on the truck that's going to run you over. Meatwad: And they also said, that they can't wait for you to die, because they gonna kick your ass. Frylock: Come on, I booked tickets online, we have to leave now. - Scene 8 The teens are flying on a plane that says "Air Tibet" The plane is in an obvious state of disrepair. It has two propeller engines, one is stopped and the other one is smoking. Dead people are all around the plane talking to Meatwad. Meatwad is trying to resolve all their conflicts. Meatwad: Well, if I tell your son where you hid the money, then will you go away? Deadguy in old timer convict outfit: No, then I want you to make him eat the money, then snuff him out, so I can have the money to spend here. Meatwad: I don't think you want to do that to your son. Deadguy: Oh yea, I do, he's a prick, and he never even tried to bust me out once.
The second engine sputters and stalls Frylock: Man, this is the last time I book a "Super Saver Fare Online." - Scene 9 The plane lands on a dirt runway, it is half engulfed in flames, and the plane now only has one wing left. The teens climb out of the emergency hatch. Shake: Ok, we're here so hurry up, and have that monk guy cut his eyes out so we can go home. - Scene 10 The teens arrive at mountain a temple on a rickshaw pulled by Meatwad. There are many steps leading to the temple. Once inside they find a bald-headed monk in an orange robe setting in the lotus position, he is humming and floating a few feet off the ground his head bowed. Frylock: Hello? The monk just sets there with his head bowed. Frylock: Hello? Mr Monk? Nothing. Shake runs up and slaps the monk. Monk: Who are you? Frylock: Please excuse my rude, frie.. Ugh, acquaintance. We have traveled from America, in search of a cure for my friend's third eye. Monk: A third eye is a blessing, which many scholars spend their whole lives trying to receive. Meatwad: Yea, but my third eye sucks, dead people keep me awake all night. Monk: There is only one cure. Shake: Well hurry it up already. Monk: The third eye will only go away with the death of the recipient. Frylock: No! Shake: What? Sounds like a plan to me. Meatwad: Is that the only way to make me not see the dead people? Monk: Well, actually when you're dead, you'll see the dead people even more. Shake: Works for me, let's get this done. Frylock: No, there must be another way, where is the high priest? Monk: I am the high priest, at least I have been, since I killed him, and swallowed his soul! And you three are next. The Monk laughs an Evil Laugh Meatwad: I don't want my soul swallowed. Shake: Yea, I got something you can swallow. The monk morphs into a mighty Anime Style Demon and a battle between the teens and the demon begins, anime style. The monk claws at shake he dodges and runs off. Shake: Every man for himself, screw you guys! The monk then breaths fire at Frylock who reflects it back with his laser eyes. After fighting off the claws with his fry, and doing a lot of fancy dodging, Frylock does a wicked back-flip over the demon and blasts him with his laser eyes, turning him into a pile of ashes. - Scene 11 Meatwad and Frylock are standing at the top the temple stairs. Meatwad is balling: I give up, there's no other way, I guess I'll go back home and hang myself. Frylock: I have an idea, it might work, but you're not going to like it. Meatwad: Ok, I'll try it, I'll try anything. Frylock pushes meatwad down the stairs who starts tumbling and tumbling, each time groaning when he hits a step. When he finally hits the bottom the 3rd eye pops out of Meatwad's head and rolls way. - Roll Credits |